LiFe'S sHoRt sO BiTcH wHiLe U cAn: 'Cuse me, Are you a TaiTai Wannabe?

TaiTai-Wannabe's-Guide-to-Gourmet-Chichi-Chocolates

Let's face it, how many of us are born with a silver spoon in our mouths? ~~those lucky bitch~~

Does that mean we should resign to fate and contend ourselves with being the average middle class?

Does that mean we should deny ourselves the high life and miss out all the better things in life?

What happened to upward mobility?

Where is the class struggle?

fret not.

Cheng's here to tell you how to fake all high class and chichi, how to pretend you grew up feedin on caviar and truffles, how to be a convincing wannabe your aristocratic friends would think you are one of their kind (and marry you so you becum a genuine member. that's where self-fulfilling prophecy comes from my dear)

So...what are you waiting for? Blow your snobby friends away! Mess with their minds!

And remember, if you cant convince them, CONFUSE them!

LESSON 1 - Gourmet Upmarket Chocolates

you and the snobby friend are hanging out at the pretentious cafe drinking some overpriced ~~kopi-si~~ latte

she tells you she eats Godiva for breakfast every morning

you tell her you brush your teeth with Amedei Chuao every morning

she asks: Amedei what?

you laugh at her.

then you remind her Amedei Chuao is made from Criollo cacao beans, grown in a limited quantity in the legendary village plantation Chuao of Venezuela.

you watch her squirm in her seat.

she comments she has been to Europe, but must have missed Venezuela.

you feign the puzzled look, and tell her Venezuela is in South America.

now watch her fidget like she needs to pee badly.

lastly tell her it's tragic you have to stop brushing ur teeth with Amedei Chuao bcos it gives you a bad tooth decay. If you really have to do so, you rather do it with Amedei Porcelana.

she asks again: Amedei what?

repeat the same process.

hur hur hur. Some background information on Amedei chocolates:

-there are 3 main varieties of cacao beans used in chocolate making - Criollo, Forastero, Trinitario.

- Forastero is the most common of all, which accounts for >90% of the world's cocoa production. On the other hand, Criollo is the rarest and most expensive cocoa on the market, found in less than 10%

- Chuao village plantation is considered the best producer for Criollo cacao beans. Amedei has paid a hefty sum 3X above the market price to acquire exclusive rights to Chuao Criollo cacao beans.

- Amedei Chuao and Amedei Procelana are premium haute chocolates from Amedei and the latter is made purely from the exquisite Criollo cacao beans

Amedei Procelana